Lately I’ve noticed a lot of what I do recreationally is pretty deeply rooted in nostalgia for my past, and I’m finding that rather interesting.
For the most part, I knew this already – I’ll still happily watch films I loved as a child over and over. I’ve also replayed Jak and Daxter several times to no diminished enjoyment despite knowing the story to exact proportions. I won’t try for 100% on the sequel and threequel though. The side-missions just annoyed me. (Also, the Lost Frontier is lame and a butt with a long overdue snogfest at the end to make up for it. Why was Daxter’s sudden dark eco rampage not explored in greater detail with Jak?! That could have been interesting but it’s played off as a filler mini-game joke asgdfgejv;fkrgha.rgjh.jh.r…)
Returning back to topic, nostalgia does still hold a part in my enjoyment of video games. I’m still trying to get through the whole of the Tomb Raider series before I start with the recent releases – gotta say, it’s a bit of a slog with Miss Illuminati Boobs and I’m still waist-deep in Tomb Raider II. Hell, my obsession with the SSX series as a kid was why I was so happy to see the reboot on Games With Gold. (Although… how did Moby get fat. Did he fuse with Jurgen?)
Nowadays, I’ve become partially aware of it, enough to stop and question my motives – do I really think this game will be good or am I blinded by nostalgia? It’s working in a negative sense with the Ratchet and Clank movie. I loved those games as a kid but I am certain they’ll screw the movie up. I probably won’t see it in the cinema.
My nostalggles really whacked me in the face however when I rediscovered knitting. Koiby’s parents got me a knitting set for Christmas that I absolutely loved. It had enough of an effect to make me remember how I once tried knitting in secondary school. I really liked the idea of it, but I knitted too tightly, got frustrated and gave up. That knitting set made me stop and think ‘hey, this is pretty simple. Maybe I should try knitting again. Maybe I won’t suck this time.’ So I did. I dug out some old knitting needles, nicked some yarn off mum and gave it a try. Crisis. I still knit too tightly. But! This time, I had the sense to search for help, to discover why I was failing and what I could do to improve. I was able to fix the issue that was crippling my knitting and now I’m nuts about it. I have needles for fingers and double-knit yarn creeping out of every follicle. Blinking is a real bitch, I’ll tell yah. The fact that there’s a knitting shop right down the road from where I live, well…
All this made me wonder if my gambits with nostalgia are just me trying to rediscover my past. While it’s not a total blank, I don’t remember much of my childhood. A lot of it didn’t seem worth remembering, maybe, but in my bid to forget I lost bits of the good parts as well. Maybe the nostaggles are me trying to rebuild those days. I started training in Jujitsu because I sucked at Karate as a kid and wanted to try again. I’m going to follow Robot Wars like a loyal sheep because damn, that show was awesome when I was younger!
There’s even one set of children’s stories I remember loving in primary school, but I can’t remember the title. I only have vivid images, like a magic violin and a forest that granted a boy and his grandmother eternal youth, plus something about a girl who came from the sea. I keep trying to find that book but it frustrates me at every turn. I just want to understand what I loved about those stories!
I can’t decide if this is unhealthy or not. If I let it take over my life to the point where I neglect writing completely, yes. Hell, I’m still neglecting my musicianship. With my shoddy sleeping pattern (that I still haven’t fixed! Urgh!), I try to focus my limited hours on writing and gaming. That’s a post for another time, I guess.
However, if I use the knowledge I gain from this rediscovery to colour my writing and how I face the future, this could possibly be really helpful for me. I just need to find some kind of balance with this, so that what I find can actually be useful, instead of turning into sand. I’m not sure where I stand on those scales yet, though.